Take Away Time and Why You Need One

We are currently in a state of seasonal bliss. (exhibit A: Us in a standard prom pose)

I define seasonal bliss as moments and time periods in life where you just feel at ease and everything has aligned. I rarely like to get super comfortable in this type of season, but I do by all means enjoy the peacefulness. Post graduation offers us some solitude in the fact that we can expect no major schedule changes, baby is with daddy during the day and at night Josh studies for the boards. I go to work and come back home and our weekends are for recharging and adventure. So here we are. We can expect things to change slightly once he’s on-boarded with his new job and new schedule and then we will need to revamp the setting again. But what can we learn from the last couple of years where we’ve had to adjust to one income, learn to parent, and still stay happily married? I always like to look at take aways whenever the dust settles and seasonal bliss is the perfect time to do so. They help gain perspective and they’re actively setting yourself up for success the next time chaos ensues.

 



♦♦A few aways from the last 2 years♦♦

1. Expect everything and nothing at all. We expected things to be structured and pretty much laid out and they most certainly were not. It was crazy how caught off guard we were and then just forget it when I started working again I think that’s when our whole world just did a 180. So that being said learning to just expect things to happen along with slight inconveniences. The element of surprise won’t be as strong and you’ll be more apt to respond instead of react.

2. Make peace with the process. This happened later on in the game because literally every 10 weeks when Josh’s schedule for class or rotations changed it honestly enraged me. Illogically of course I realize that now! But I really had to force myself to just accept this is what we chose when we agreed for him to go back to school so that was it. Either I could be psycho and complain or just shut up and figure out the next move. I’m actually annoyed at myself thinking back about what I complained about.

3. The tribe is everything. We really wouldn’t have been able to make this work without some very important and key people. From picking up Noah from daycare to watching him and feeding him just most of it surrounding the care of our baby they helped so immensely. And then there’s the ones that were there for us for meltdowns and disappointments not to mention tears and desperate calls. We all need a tribe that only works to support each other without judgement. The eminence of these few is immeasurable.

4. Be a team!! Oh my goodness the most obvious yet difficult component in all of this! Instead of fighting together we often fought against the other. Of course this came from stressors from work/school and frustration and the overall climate of life at the time, but it is counter productive if not done properly. Always remember you and your partner are here for the same thing working towards the same goal. Never forget that. Be attentive. Be mindful. Be supportive.

7 Years a Crazy Woman

7 years graffic

Through the last couple of years, we have been through moves, marriage, more moves, a baby, job changes, and more moves. Did I mention moving? I can’t tell you enough how much transition our little family has gone through since the early years of it’s creation.

Why does this matter? Because I personally know so many of you, and those I know no so personally experience transition and change and bumps and sometimes chaos. It can be hard feeling like you can’t keep up with Jones’s, let alone yourself. Our timeline? Let me share so that you know that I understand how you feel!

2011: Moved back from AZ to CA.

2012: Got engaged -Josh moved to CA and then back to MD to accept a new fantastic job.

2013: Got married in October. I quit my job of 2 years and moved to MD 2 months later. Moved into a condo. Our favorite place we’ve ever lived in! Our first home together.

2014: Started working a new full time job and then we had a moment of peace and quiet. UNTIL! I got pregnant with Noah.

2015: Gained 80 lbs and gave birth to a 9.6 ounce baby boy that Summer. I quit my job 1 week before I was set to return to work. Also, we reevaluated and really decided that it was best I stay home with the baby. This particular time was tough because Josh was working 60 hour work weeks and was gone a lot. We reevaluated AGAIN and came to the conclusion he should continue nursing school for better schedule and $$ so that I could work part-time. We prayed and prayed and we were led to Loma Linda University School of Nursing where Josh was immediately accepted all credits transferred. To us prayer and positive thinking believing people, this was the sign we needed. But wait. LLU was in CA. We were in MD. Moved again. Cross country. The two of us and baby in tow. Shipped two cars and moved in with my mother for 3 months.

2016: Moved to an apartment closer to campus because Josh was doing a 3 hour round trip drive every day at 5 am. By this time, Noah was 9 months old when I was being recruited by my old job (see 2013). We decided at least one of us needed to work so back to work I went. Full Time. Worst nightmare literally until recently. Why? I’ll tell you later. Oh yea, we moved again into the house we currently live in now! Haven’t moved in 2 years which I consider a deep win!

2017: Worst. Summer. Ever. Transition sucks. Mom guilt. Nursing student. Husband and wife=ships passing in the night. Growing toddler. We struggled like for real for real. Almost fully separated. It was awful. There is clearly more to this but I’m setting this up. Bear with me.

2018: Present. Peace finally. Love restored. Josh graduates in 1 week. We will be looking for a place and things have finally settled.

Why is this necessary? Because I want to share that no matter what, no matter how many transitions you go through there is a light at the end of the tunnel! It might be dim, but it still shines. So how do you deal with change and transition without completely losing your mind? Stay tuned!

XO,

Gi

 

You Said It Charles Dickens

When I read A Tale of Two cities, by Charles Dickens, I had no idea that the infamous “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…”. would be my life’s most reflected on quote. Mr. Dickens sure does have a point and he sure did know how to collectively describe the life of a 30 something year old working wife and mother, supporting her husband through nursing school.

This week is a week of lasts. It was Josh’s last day at the hospital as a nursing student. This Friday will be his last day of actual class in the nursing program and June 10th, he walks across the stage. The last 2.5 years of our lives has come down to a cap, gown, and 2 hour ceremony. He didn’t care much for the fact that I’m forcing him to go to commencement, but to me it is more than the commencement, the ceremony, or the recognition even. To me, it is the epitome of what we have sacrificed almost literally to get to this point. But honestly? I wouldn’t have picked another man to do this with.

I will share in a future post how we got to this point, but the last 2.5 years have been a season of distress, yet complete positive growth and challenge. For lack of better words, a bittersweet season. When we look at that degree he earned we will not just see a Bachelor Degree of Science in Nursing. We will see late nights and early mornings, babysitter interviews, schedule changes, arguments, disagreements, tears, and self-doubt. But we will also see, relentlessness, discipline, persistence, love, faithfulness, and sacrifice.

I can’t wait to share with you the hows and the whats, but I need to find the right time and delivery because of how personal those events have been. My point is that any masterpiece or accomplishment is never in vain and rarely does not require sacrifice. So that thing you’ve been thinking of doing but hold back because it’s a temporary inconvenience, but can shift your whole future, do it. Future you will thank you for the growth opportunity. Accept the challenge. Change your life.

XO,

Gi

It’s About Time to Make Time

Noah is going on 3 years old in a little over a month! It blows my mind how fast time flys and no matter how many times you say that time does fly, you’ll never fully immerse yourself in a moment.

Ever since I went back to work, I was in a constant race to beat time. Until recently, time has been my mortal enemy and we’ve just started making peace with one another. When I went back to work after having him, I spent the afternoon/evening racing home to not miss dinner and bedtime routines. Most of the time, I’d miss the latter and it would just haunt me the rest of the night, ultimately robbing me of any enjoyment I could have with Josh. The worst part? I did it all again the next day. I eventually got tired of rushing about my day and fighting for the next moment, so instead, I chose to manage and leverage my time with baby as much as I could. So how do you take back your time when you live triple lives on a daily basis? Tactics my friends!

  1. Stop the guilt. In my case, it’s mom guilt. The “I’ll never see..” or “I’m missing everything”. Until you can do something else to change this situation don’t dwell.
  2. Make a plan for the day and choose one thing to look forward to. Write it down on a sticky or in an alarm on your phone. I prefer physically writing it because there’s power in pen and paper.
  3. Getting home, change. I can’t get out of my work clothes fast enough. Keep your comfies folded on your bed and ready to go!
  4. Remember your why. This can change through each season of life, but reflecting on my why  keeps me anchored.

I’m always curious to see what others do to manage their time so share away please!

 

XO,

Gi

One Reason the Royal Wedding Got Me Like…

One of the many reasons why my interest has been peaked surrounding the royal wedding is that I get to be alive when history was made. The royal wedding has taken the world by storm and a global interest has been invested. I usually have no particular curiosity in the love lives of others but this story has peaked my interest for many reasons. First of all, Meghan is beautiful and bi racial. BI RACIAL. Not black. Not white. But both. And she is the first bi racial princess for the UK. She made history for mixed women all around the world! She and Harry represent an archetype unequal to any other and a pivotal moment in what we can mark as a sign of significant change.

Tradition is a beautiful thing and I would consider myself a traditionalist. But tradition does not mean that our hearts and minds should be closed to change and growth and opportunity. Had the Queen denied this union, she wouldn’t have been apart of a historical moment and just when parts of the world are turning their backs on broken ideals, difference in culture or socioeconomic status for lack of understanding, she made a monumental decision to uphold tradition while welcoming change.

Was their road easy? Probably not. Will it get easier or will the negative talk of the way it “should’ve” been ever cease? No. But behind all the negative and above the noise, stronger people rise and the world still watches. Here’s to change in the horizon and a couple of cute mixed royal babies!

XO,

Gi

Seasonal Uncertainty’s Silver Lining

Hey Friends!

So I wanted to get into seasons with you for a moment. No, not Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer type seasons, but seasons in life. I choose to look at different phases in my life as seasons, because it’s easier to digest that each earthly season doesn’t last forever therefore life seasons do not last. Seasons of life are just varied depending on who, what, and where you are and no one’s one season is the same nor do they occur at the same times.

Personally, I have been in a season of uncertainty more so focused on purpose in career and where I’m headed with what I ultimately want to do. While I already know the what, I am stuck in the “how”. And this is where I find most people become stuck, because the how is so much trickier than the what. When you feel uncertain, the self-talk tends to be on the negative side usually sounding like “why bother”, “there’s no options”, “I just don’t see a way”, etc. I’ve talked about self-talk and how powerful it seems to be mostly for me, and this type of talk is NOT the way to make it to where you want to be.

The beauty of uncertainty, because I’m all about the silver lining, is that because there is no particular way is that you get to create it! You get to create the way for you that works for you. The possibilities are endless when you haven’t done it before because it’s new. It’s not stained with process or opinion of what the “best” or “most efficient” way to do that thing is. So create and make a way.

My tips?

  1. Start small. List WHAT or WHERE where you want to be. (easy)
  2. Brainstorm the how. Write out on PAPER guys not your phone or computer sticky notes. There is magic in writing in your own handwriting and the connections your brain makes to the action. Write all the steps in YOUR mind of how it would be possible for you to get there.
  3. Turn that brainstorm magic into a list and start crossing them off. It feels way too good to cross things off of lists for me and I just feel like I’m dominating as I draw that line through that thing.
  4. Start DOING. Action is everything. Inaction is a decision. You are deciding NOT to make the way.

So lean into the uncertainty, but find a way to use it as inspiration and not defeat. See it as an opportunity not a road block and your life will change.

I want to hear from you! What are your tips for surviving uncertain seasons?

XO,

Gi

Till You Make It, Girl

I was having an off day at work, like the kind I could’ve resigned in a moments notice just on a whim of being in a bad mood. But I said to myself “fake it till you make it”. It was almost out habit I used the phrase to pull myself out of my funk, but lately I’ve been in this mood where I dissect the meaning of things that are said a lot or used a lot. At first that phrase comes off a little harsh, it feels insincere or that you’re promoting a sense of pretending reality is something that it’s not, but I spent a little time unpacking this expression and had kind of an “aha” moment. (Thanks Oprah for that new term that I’m obsessed with!)

Faking it does not have to mean you pretend reality isn’t happening or it doesn’t have to mean you’re exhibiting a false perception of yourself. I choose to look at this as shifting perspective. I choose to act as though my prayers have already been answered or behave as though the day, whether it’s sunny or cloudy, can still be a good day. So eventually, faking it becomes real. You’ve created a habit to look at the bright side or realize that there is a silver lining to everything. I mean everything. If it’s not obvious-make it your mission to find it. Only then will perspective shift.

Mindset is everything. Sometimes we get stuck in our heads and make things way more complex than they need to be, but it might be a good time to get back to basics and learn to change perspective. The power of choice. Sometimes it’s nice to just reel it back in and remind yourself that it isn’t fake it’s a choice to reinvent your thought process and speak it. Because once you speak it, you believe, you live it.

XO,

Gi