This has been a topic so heavy on my heart, because comparison haunts every single one of us. Mostly without admission. The accessibility to view the lives of everyone from our closest friends to complete strangers in other countries has been such a blessing yet can be a curse all in the same stroke. Admiring the pretty postings and flat lays is one thing, but expecting your highlight reel to look the same as another mama or another influencer is just unrealistic. I’m preaching to myself here you guys, because I am guilty of wishing my kitchen looked like that farm style kitchen post that had 1500 likes or figuring out how I can keep my home clean and sparkly while I’m at work for 9 hours even though I have a toddler. Because if mom over here has 3 kids and I have 1 then it’s certainly possible. But no.
What we see are snippets, tiny moments of time in tiny squares that in no way reflect a realistic day to day and if they do for that individual, then more power to them! But you are you! You are in this current space for a reason. Be your own competition. Some days your best will not be the same best as other days, but you are dominating. You come in first because you’re running your own race. Kill the curse. . Maybe you could be better or more efficient, but be better than YOU were yesterday. Challenge yourself to grow and be your own inspiration.
Thoughts can snowball. Try writing down a negative or positive conclusion that you’ve made about yourself. Underneath that conclusion, write down all the thoughts preceding that conclusion. How did you get there? What was the first thought? Identify it and destroy it if it’s negative. Learn to redirect thoughts of comparison that are not serving you. So the next time you’re scrolling and you happen to start figuring out what you need to buy or eat or do, in order for something to measure up to someone else’s reality. Stop yourself. Shift perspective. And honor yourself for who you are and the moment you’re in.
Unbeknownst to me, there is a two year sleep regression that no one felt necessary to mention as I approached toddlerhood with Noah. I had to find out through Pinterest, which I’m ok with now but why did no one write about this? At least on how they made it out alive. Well I’m writing to you as we are in the eye of the storm and let me tell you- it’s real.
My poor baby boy has begun to cry, correction, scream, himself to sleep. No amount of hugs or cuddles will soothe him. He screams for Dada if I have him and screams for Mama if Josh has him. Bottom line: no one is winning. When I get him, it’s a battle for my boobs. Part of the regression? Nursing again like a newborn. So 2 weeks of feeling lost in my own house with my own child and 2 emotional breakdowns later what have I figured out?
- I discovered the art of letting Noah choose: I let him pick a friend to bring to bed. Mickey was the choice which I’m guessing we’ll be sticking with because consistency is key.
- The “Dum” situation (boobs or nursing he calls Dum)- this is tricky but telling him Dum has ouchies and allowing him to put band-aids over my nipples has helped him register that they are unavailable. In my case, we are using nursing pasties called LilyPads if I remember correctly.
- Water on hand.
- Lastly, but certainly not least-patience. Say a prayer because it’s rough in this dark room with an angry toddler. However remembering this is a short time in your precious baby’s life will help you pull through.
Keep in mind, it’s not over for us, we are in the thick of it. So stay tuned on progress and how we’re doing next week! Any tips any one has for us as we continue to push through feel free to send them my way!
My little woke up bright and early this beautiful Thursday! He must’ve known we were in for some fun in the sun in Laguna Beach. Naps aren’t lasting long these days and getting ready is becoming more challenging because this kid is getting more mobile everyday. From the moment he closes those precious eyes for a siesta, my count down begins. I’m often asked how I manage to get ready for the day with a speed crawler in the house. The trick is the precision of time management (more on the blog later about this). It’s all in the little things.
But oh how lovely those moments are where he just gives in to the cuddles and pencils me in to his busy schedule. And if I’m lucky, I get to pinch these cheeks. Especially since he’s not wearing green today.
This week we had my husbands twin and best friend in town from Maryland for the twins birthday. (My husband and his identical twin will perpetually be known as “the twins”).Yesterday, we went to have dinner and drinks with family in Laguna Niguel. The appreciation for the the landscape here never gets old, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been awestruck. The word came to my mind when my son who had never seen the ocean before couldn’t take his eyes off the water. It wasn’t just the view although striking- it was newness of everything. The smell of the salty air, the particular chill in the wind, the multi-shades of orange in the sky all from the sunset sparkling on the water had him lost in the pure bliss of a new experience.
I felt inspired to allow myself to be so present in the moment that I become awestruck with the wonders of this world. I couldn’t remember the last time it struck me so heavily until last night. Seeing the world through brand new little eyes is definitely my new addiction. Althoug he’ll never remember that feeling, I surely can’t wait to remind him.
Why is it a challenge to revel in the masterpieces around us? To even take a moment to breathe in the beauty is something that I even have to remind myself. And if ever I forget for a moment, this little guy right here will be sure to remind me.
There’s a certain high I get scrolling through Pinterest and Instagram accounts that are perfectly edited. I mean the whole nine-lighting, placement, color scheme, and even background images all sing praises of the organized individual behind the shot. I often wonder what kind of time the staging takes because between naps and nursing, I’m rushing to inhale my half assed meal and put on some decent clothes and make-up to look like I didn’t just wake up.
That being said, the mommy pressure is ON. From middle school onto high school and sometimes even in college, proving yourself is an extra-curricular we all sign up for. Whether we like it or not, there’s a sense of being right for time in our lives and that’s just the way we’re wired. Proving ourselves to others may not be the thing, but proving ourselves to ourselves? My main thing is being the mommy of all trades. Can I get ready for the day, look flawless, and then have an even more so flawlessly looking baby? All the while executing errands and feeling superb while I’m at it. That pressure to prove something continues on well past college and right along into mommy-hood. But why?
It’s not a life long goal to have fancy pictures that reflect my life, but I think there’s something to those dreamy pins and hashtags. There’s something to chaos that comes with being a mother and sometimes that means having a spotless house, but then sometimes that means stepping on toys and getting pinched and scratched by a 21 pound baby boy. I’ll snap that and share it. Share the reality. My reality. Because honestly-who’s looking
At the beginning of 2015, I made the resolution to always look at the silver lining no matter the circumstance. As it came to a close, I reflected on the year and came to the conclusion that I did in fact keep that resolution. Just before 2016 commenced, I wrestled around in my head and thought, “I want to be more focused”. Focused on one idea at a time, one goal at a time, one project at a time. Hell even one task at a time. Then the word “mindfulness” came to mind. Being mindful to me, means being present in the moment, giving your full attention and intention in the present of what is happening or what you’re doing. But how in the age where multi-tasking is an asset and where being able to to text, email, and talk on the phone is glorified?
I realized that it is the world that is conflicted with itself and I play right along into it. What with trying to keep up with the moms of 3 who post meticulously staged photos of their cooking spread, while revving up my resume to start applying to jobs in the Spring, it’s hard to recognize where I’m supposed to be and when I’m supposed to be there. The classic juggling of a double life-wrestling with my present to be better in my future. How do you begin to let the two exist without fighting for first place? Society expresses that “you can do it all”, go to work 8 hours a day, be a chic super mom, chase baby giggles, and at the end of it all be in phenomenal shape. Maybe we can do it all and all it takes is rearranging priorities…or just simply realizing where we are now.
Being in the moment might be one of the hardest mindsets to master, but I’m willing to bet all aspects in life fall into place once this milestone is conquered. What if the key to success in every aspect of life is first recognizing where you are in the present moment? What if we’re doing it wrong? Maybe we’re chasing the dream that’s ahead without realizing the dream we are currently living. Either way, isn’t it just nice to just be still?