So I took what felt like a long break from writing and blogging and posting and all that jazz. I needed a break and to take a step back to figure out whyyy the heck I wanted to blog/write and why I wanted to put stuff out there. The trend of blogging hit like a damn tidal wave. I’d been blogging on and off since my early college days just about random stuff. Relationships or lack of, deciphering the college aged male and what makes them tick or IF they were ticking at all… I enjoyed taking my experiences and those of my closest friends and leveraging them into cheeky Sex and the City-like posts where I’d end it with a thought provoking Carrie-like question. Now, my blogging has taken on a different tone and perspective mainly due to the fact that I’m now a wife, mother, and full-time employee at a wonderful world renowned university. Well, all that being said I began to wonder…who am I appealing to now? (Did you catch my Carrie vibe?)
Obvi there aren’t any fun scandalous dating escapades to rehash- we’ll none of mine at least! But I needed a break to refuel and reflect on what I wanted to write that would positively contribute to someone’s day. Mommy blog? Ok i can get down with that…But not my thing to post recipes and savvy DIYs because honestly I don’t choose to use my time to do those types of things however I will find myself dabbling in both those items on a quiet Sunday. Which I’m happy to post.
Here’s the thing about trends, they can be quite loud. By loud i mean it can infiltrate your thoughts and cramp your style with all the noise of how Sally or Mary are rocking their blog…ok so? Just because they niched down on organizing and taking stellar photos of their white kitchen doesn’t mean you need a white kitchen to write about. Make sense? Clear the noise. I had to clear the noise. I had to unfollow people who weren’t inspiring me anymore. I had to stop caring about followers-how many, engagement, posts at certain times, like no. I will post blogs with what I’ve learned or how I’ve learned to tackle the real stuff -to me at least. And those words will reach who they need to reach when they need to reach them. Sure I want it to get out there and help someone somewhere far or next door, but my energy is simply redirected.
So… take a step back from what you’re doing if it feels mundane or you forget why. Even if it’s at your JOB. Ask why you’re in that position at that company.
Ask if it’s serving you as much as you’re serving it.
I sure did and here I am 6 months later in a different position at a different company.
Do yourself a favor and remind yourself why.
It’s kind of crazy turning 32. I distinctly remember feeling that this particular age was so far away so I basically felt like I blinked and here I am: grad school graduate, married 5 years, and baby boy that’s cuter than I could’ve ever asked….and turning 32. When I thought about my 30’s I always imagined, I’d have it all together. That there was this grand plan that plateaued at 30 and that was the epitome of being a grown up. Boy was I wrong! And I’m so glad I was wrong.
I am still growing, but I will say since I did enter my 30’s, I’ve learned the art of self-reflection. This is a difficult piece of maturity that can be chilling when we search within to find out who we really are and sometimes we come face to face with the fact that we need to change. I never thought I’d be in my 30’s and be a completely different person and in many ways I’m still that 22 year old girl who can get wild when the mood strikes. But those raw parts of me, the parts that never allowed vulnerability, seeing it as a weakness, yet self-criticism was a ritual for me, I not too long ago was faced with challenges that forced me to look at who I truly was and really just started asking myself, “Giana, is this who you want to be?” The answer was no for the most part, so I changed my habits, my thoughts and perspectives. I realized the power of choice and my GOD was that freeing. We all know we have the choice to do or be or say things we want, but have we really ever taken advantage of those choices and actually made them? So what choices have I made ushering me into the 32nd chapter.
- I have made the choice of happiness. I am choosing to be happy, regardless of circumstance and situation.
- I am choosing my husband-everyday. Because that’s what marriage is. The choice to love that person every damn day until you die. And I happily make that choice. (We’re renewing our vows soon btw! Stay tuned.)
- I choose freedom in faith. My unwavering faith in God knowing He’s got me. No questions asked.
- I choose to create time, instead of complaining that I don’t have it.
- I choose to be present. Making eye contact when my son calls my name, leaving my phone in the other room while I play with him or put him to sleep.
- I choose to pour myself into every facet of life where my passion leads.
- I choose to share. I choose to share my experiences, lessons I’ve learned, the times I’ve fallen. Because mistakes are what make us great. And hiding those mistakes in shame does no one any good.
- I choose to learn. I choose to accept that I don’t know everything and that every moment is an opportunity to grow.
- I choose to be brave-standing firm in who I am, drawing boundaries, and demanding self-respect. From strangers, friends, and family. It’s important to see that there are limits to what we accept into our spaces.
- I choose to see each road block as a redirection to something better instead of using my energy to move it.
- I choose to see every person I meet and everyone in my life as a teacher with a lesson. Whether they see it that way or not. I choose to ask myself what I can learn from every encounter.
- I choose to let my curls be crazy sometimes and not really care.I choose to see make up as an addition to beauty and show my son a woman’s natural beauty.
- I choose to accept the responsibility of being a mother and understanding that sometimes it means putting myself, my well-being, and mental wellness first.
- I choose to be my best everyday and I choose to understand that my best each day can look different.
That being said, hello 32!
This week we had my husbands twin and best friend in town from Maryland for the twins birthday. (My husband and his identical twin will perpetually be known as “the twins”).Yesterday, we went to have dinner and drinks with family in Laguna Niguel. The appreciation for the the landscape here never gets old, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been awestruck. The word came to my mind when my son who had never seen the ocean before couldn’t take his eyes off the water. It wasn’t just the view although striking- it was newness of everything. The smell of the salty air, the particular chill in the wind, the multi-shades of orange in the sky all from the sunset sparkling on the water had him lost in the pure bliss of a new experience.
I felt inspired to allow myself to be so present in the moment that I become awestruck with the wonders of this world. I couldn’t remember the last time it struck me so heavily until last night. Seeing the world through brand new little eyes is definitely my new addiction. Althoug he’ll never remember that feeling, I surely can’t wait to remind him.
Why is it a challenge to revel in the masterpieces around us? To even take a moment to breathe in the beauty is something that I even have to remind myself. And if ever I forget for a moment, this little guy right here will be sure to remind me.