Redefining Gratitude

Here’s the thing about gratitude… we find all the pretty things to give praise for. The beautiful homes, the comfy jobs that support our families, health and wellness, and all the lovely things. It’s easy to be thankful for those things, it’s easy to receive them. But what if we challenges ourselves for the not some comfortable things. The difficult moments: fights with our family, being unfairly treated at work, or even friendships being broken or worse? Why would anyone want to be grateful for those awful moments that made us sad or cause anxiety? The thing is you can either be grateful for them or resent them- which in turn continues to give those negative moments more negative energy.

Personal story and maybe I’ll elaborate in the future: I found myself in the middle of a terrible situation that I could’ve easily left due to the stress iI was under. Like it was unnecessary, caused by jealous and unhappy people. It could’ve been worse, yea, but it was awful none the less. It was defeating, I was angry. All the same thought it was empowering. Personal attacks can be quite easily both. Depending on how you look at it. Was it happening to me or for me? At first, I couldn’t help but entertain thoughts like “why is this happening to me?” “when is this over?” “I want to leave” and trust me, ALL of those things I wanted to just rest in but the truth is, they didn’t help. I had so much anxiety. I felt nauseous. I wanted to react with telling them off. Literally everyday it took all the energy I had not to say what I really wanted so instead I acted as though they didn’t exist. But all that was just immediate gratification and I’d probably feel the same if not worse in the end. So I changed my thoughts. Instead of the “why me”, I asked myself what I could learn from this moment (that lasted for-freakin-ever!). I was completely over it, I could’ve left, but I stayed. I pushed myself through an incredibly uncomfortable time around unhappy people. I saw them more than my own child….but that’s another story for another time! I stayed, I channeled all the grace and dignity in the world every single day and conquered. I didn’t want to leave because I was angry and couldn’t handle it. I wanted to rise above be better take in whatever reason it was that I was experiencing this.

Why am I sharing this? Because I know I’m not the only one who’s felt trapped in negative thoughts because of things that are happening around or to me. I want to help you while I help myself rise above and be better. I made the choice not that long ago to be grateful for some difficult times. Looking back, had I not experienced this crap…having uncomfortable conversations with the people closest to me, I would never have taken on a personal understanding of the incredible value of experiencing challenges. The lessons behind every experience contribute to who we become. To wish them away with immediacy is to take away the opportunity for growth.

So in this season of joy and gratitude, I want to challenge you to be thankful for all those less than favorable moments. Thank them and send them away with gratitude because it is in the hardest times you’re refined and made new. Made whole. Made a better version of you.


Now you know I’m not gonna leave you without some tips! How to change your mindset to express gratitude for even the most uneasy times. Redefine how you experience adversity! Redefine gratitude.

  1. Acknowledge it sucks and move on! Don’t dwell. It’s happening and accept it.
  2. Ask yourself what you can learn. There is always a lesson. Look at everything as a means to teach you something. You’ll learn to naturally appreciate whatever happens.
  3. Talk positively about it. Speaking negative words out loud just feeds and allows animosity to grow. I was doing this every. single. day. Until I was literally sick about it. Instead, I told myself, i am going to be a better person because of this experience. I said it over and over in my head until I believed it.
  4. Remember, negative experiences are an opportunity to grow. Don’t you want to grow as a human? Especially if you have little ones. Don’t you want to show them how to handle conflict and develop coping mechanisms that are healthy? Lead by example.

Wishing you growth on your gratitude journey!

 

XO,

Gi

 

Just A Thought or A Million

Women think a lot. About everything. All the time. We think while we talk. We think while we’re quiet. While we’re getting ready for the day we’re thinking about work or whatever and while we’re at working we’re thinking about dinner and what’s happening with the family. While we’re getting ready for bed we’re thinking about tomorrow and the list goes on. Sometimes, the thinking alone makes me tired more so than the doing. Managing thoughts is like herding cats. Damn near impossible. I feel like most women, especially mamas are just web browsers with a kazillion tabs open. And sometimes it’s humorous and sometimes quite impressive, but sometimes it’s neither and can feel quite isolating.

We tend to overwhelm ourselves with the thoughts of it all that it just becomes so difficult to manage that we become tired and exhausted and irritable, when really we have to learn to organize it and turn it off. Yea easier said than done, but there are ways to give that highly functioning gray matter some rest. Self care for the brain. Brain care. Too far? Ok ok. But I’m preaching to the choir here. I’m the reigning queen of thinking, overthinking, and everything in between. So I have an extremely hard time even keeping a planner let alone a to do list.


Here goes my tips for management:

  1. Go outside. Alone. Breathe in slowly and just chill for 10 minutes. If you don’t have 10 minutes, you have a bigger problem!
  2. Journal. However this looks keep a planner, bullet journal, whatever. Writing thoughts is high therapeutic and many therapists recommend this for people struggling with anxiety.
  3. Drive with the music off. I know this one is weird. But sometimes as a mom, driving to and from work is the only quiet time I get these days.
  4. Pray and meditate for guidance throughout the day. This can look very different for everyone, but for me my prayer is very conversational and my meditation and just repeating something i need. Strength, serenity etc.
  5. Ask for help. Ask for time. Ask for what you need. Say what you need. Don’t expect your man to be a mind reader and then get mad that he didn’t just know you needed whatever it was you needed. Speak up! Being the gardener is hard work… it might be time to be the flower.

I honestly hope this helps and I hope this lets you know that if you’re one of those that can’t seem to just pull it together sometimes, you’re not alone.

Gi

The Sweet Spot

I have been on a slight rampage clearing out all rooms of unnecessary belongings. Very intentionally though. I find inspiration from just waking up to a clear surface as means to make me feel as though my mind is also clear.

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” -Williams Morris

And so I set out on a clearing of the space mission. Post-Simplicity Parenting. After being active in the motherhood space for 3+ years now, I have gathered little bits and pieces of information along the way to help in my decision making processes. As I’m positive I have much more to learn and more challenges to face on this journey, early on, I began to notice within myself feelings of inadequacy simply based off of the reports of other moms on social media or Pinterest recommendations.

The trends splashed across my feed, encouraging thoughts like “my home doesn’t look like this”, “I’m not a minimalist, my kid will grow up with anxiety”, “He watched an extra few minutes of TV, his brain cells are literally frying”. Like UGH. Stop. I annoyed myself. I was aspiring to have a picture perfect family, home, and child when I should have been been aspiring to be the best mom to MY child in MY home. Granted, there are bits of information as I go along i integrate into our home and family rhythms but that is now because i see them as a good fit for my family-not because it’s the trend.

That being said, I am not a minimalist by any means. But do I want to have less? Yes. Do I feel that outward clutter creates inward clutter? Absolutely. Do I consider myself holistic? YES. But do I reject Western medicine when necessary? Not at all. Just because I feel like we are slightly more on the whole and mindful living side of the spectrum. The way I dress may not seem so. I might have print or have a shirt or 2 from Forever 21. My point here is that we need to stop feeding into this all or nothing, mindset. We have enough to worry about with making sure our kids are safe in the car, at school, at daycare, at home or what have you. It is not all or nothing.

Parenthood would become a daunting chore robbing all of the joy and fluidity that it’s supposed to come with.

I have come home being proud of what I see. Sometimes there’s blankets on the floor from a fort earlier that morning, dishes in the sink, and maybe a little laundry piled up, but if I’m putting that off to have a dance part with my son, then I’m ok with that.

XO,

Gi

Fall In Love With Autumn

Leaves Hang-on Ropeagriculture, autumn, croplandWe love fall! You may have gathered that just based on the recent posts, but we can’t get over it. In fact, we started decorating for fall specifically on the 2nd weekend of September which is standard for the Vasconcellos household.

I asked on the latest IG stories, what everyone does for fall traditions to share it with you guys so that if you don’t have any traditions or you’re looking to add some into your home with your family, you’re in the right place. Also thank you to the many of you that sent your fall suggestions! Here is a compilation of them all.

So I’ll just get right into it so you can get right to it!

  1. Pumpkin Patch
  2. Making a big meal for Fall Equinox to appreciate Gaia’s gifts
  3. Pumpkin pie in bed
  4. Apple Orchard
  5. Hay-rides
  6. Disneyland (if you’re in CA because it’s legit themed and it’s awesome)
  7. Make a fall wreath or garland
  8. Have an apple cider night cap
  9. Pick a book to nestle on the couch with
  10. Diffuse some good essential oils! Thieves, Cedarwood, and Orange are my favorite for fall. I choose oils over candles these days.
  11. Preserve fall leaves and make crafts. I found a good and simple way here.
  12. Take a hike or evening walks at dusk.
  13. Help your kids make garlands. Michaels has really cool ideas too.
  14. Get themed home goods! Good non-toxic products can be found here at my favorite home delivery service Grove Collaborative! They have fall scents all over their site.
  15. Clear every surface of your home. This brings a clear vision and welcoming energy to your home to invite all the happiness of fall and holiday season.

I feel like us humans are very sensitive to energy and vibes and if so doing activities that encourage a familial gathering and full tummies, I’m all in.

Have anymore you’d like to share? Send them my way!

XO,

GV

Cleaning Hacks for a Working Mama

I’ll be honest, I was at point in my life where I felt like I had no time at all to clean my house. Whenever I got home after, I literally felt feelings of discouragement, inadequacy, and just legit lazyness solely based on the fact that I had no time to clean. I would’ve rather spent those couple of hours with the baby and hubby than to spend hours cleaning so I hired a cleaning service. They came faithfully, every other week and all was well in the world. That is until I became aware of toxic chemicals in cleaning products and the implications that arise from inhaling them. (Thanks to the Colorful Eats Podcast for bringing me to this awareness!)  And aside from that, I wanted to involve Noah in a cleaning routine so I womaned up and told our cleaning crew that Mama was taking over!

 

 

Now by any means, my home is not sparkling on a daily basis. If anyone knows our home always has family or friends over for dinner just I mean everyone is welcome pretty much so there’s typically company. Also Josh has sleep issues worse than a baby so he’ll set up shop on the couch-down comforter, pillows and everything. It’s insanity. But I mean I love him so yea. The point is I kept seeing these homes on Pinterest and Instagram and I’m like how the eff do people have time to keep their home spotless! And while I realize that is simply a moment in time for them, I would still get in my feelings aforementioned. So I pulled out a notebook and wrote down each room in my house.

I also found a crazy cleaning product hack and subscribed to Grove.co for all non-toxic home products that get delivered straight to my door. This is in no way sponsored I just LOVE this service because if I don’t have to leave the house I’m into it. Anyway I wrote down each room in my house and all the things that needed cleaning for each room. If you reduce it to each room, it becomes less intimidating and then from there you can delegate what needs to be done.

Main Rooms:

Kitchen | Bathroom | Dining | Living

Kitchen:

  • Counters | Floors (sweep ups) : DAILY
  • Stove | Fridge : Sundays

Bathroom :

  • Counter  | Floors (sweep ups) : Daily
  • Toilet | Shower : Sundays

Dining: Wipe down surfaces

  • Floors (Vaccum or Mop Sundays)

Living: Wipe down surfaces

  • Floors (Vacuum or Mop Sundays)

I use this as a base and work my way room to room.

**MAJOR TIP** NO MEANDERING or WANDERING. Don’t float otherwise you’ll never complete a task. This will turn your cleaning into an entire day event which we do not want! Unless that’s you’re thing than do you!

 

**MAJOR MAJOR TIP**

Keep the cleaning product underneath the kitchen sink or bathroom sink. SOOO much easier to just grab, spray, and wipe. (we use method or Seventh Generation from Grove Collaborative-linked above and eco-friendly and sustainable paper towel also from Grove). This helps me especially because somehow I feel it is a major inconvenience to walk “all the way” to the laundry room to grab the cleaning basket….I sound super lazy I really am not though I promise! 

Also, just get a little wool duster. It’s easy to just swipe over everything as you go. Maintenance is key because you know I’m all about efficiency and using my time wisely, hence the deliver for Grove Collaborative products.

Oh and also, try a timer. Some people work well under pressure. Put that thing to 15 minutes per room-you’ll be surprised how much you get done.

I hope this simplifies your cleaning process like it’s done mine and maybe you can fire your cleaning lady too if you had one 🙂

What quick and easy cleaning hacks do you have? I’d love to hear!

XO,

GV

 

 

Chapter 32

It’s kind of crazy turning 32. I distinctly remember feeling that this particular age was so far away so I basically felt like I blinked and here I am: grad school graduate, married 5 years, and baby boy that’s cuter than I could’ve ever asked….and turning 32. When I thought about my 30’s I always imagined, I’d have it all together. That there was this grand plan that plateaued at 30 and that was the epitome of being a grown up. Boy was I wrong! And I’m so glad I was wrong.

I am still growing, but I will say since I did enter my 30’s, I’ve learned the art of self-reflection. This is a difficult piece of maturity that can be chilling when we search within to find out who we really are and sometimes we come face to face with the fact that we need to change. I never thought I’d be in my 30’s and be a completely different person and in many ways I’m still that 22 year old girl who can get wild when the mood strikes. But those raw parts of me, the parts that never allowed vulnerability, seeing it as a weakness, yet self-criticism was a ritual for me, I not too long ago was faced with challenges that forced me to look at who I truly was and really just started asking myself, “Giana, is this who you want to be?” The answer was no for the most part, so I changed my habits, my thoughts and perspectives. I realized the power of choice and my GOD was that freeing. We all know we have the choice to do or be or say things we want, but have we really ever taken advantage of those choices and actually made them? So what choices have I made ushering me into the 32nd chapter.

  • I have made the choice of happiness. I am choosing to be happy, regardless of circumstance and situation.
  • I am choosing my husband-everyday. Because that’s what marriage is. The choice to love that person every damn day until you die. And I happily make that choice. (We’re renewing our vows soon btw! Stay tuned.)
  • I choose freedom in faith. My unwavering faith in God knowing He’s got me. No questions asked.
  • I choose to create time, instead of complaining that I don’t have it.
  • I choose to be present. Making eye contact when my son calls my name, leaving my phone in the other room while I play with him or put him to sleep.
  • I choose to pour myself into every facet of life where my passion leads.
  • I choose to share. I choose to share my experiences, lessons I’ve learned, the times I’ve fallen. Because mistakes are what make us great. And hiding those mistakes in shame does no one any good.
  • I choose to learn. I choose to accept that I don’t know everything and that every moment is an opportunity to grow.
  • I choose to be brave-standing firm in who I am, drawing boundaries, and demanding self-respect. From strangers, friends, and family. It’s important to see that there are limits to what we accept into our spaces.
  • I choose to see each road block as a redirection to something better instead of using my energy to move it.
  • I choose to see every person I meet and everyone in my life as a teacher with a lesson. Whether they see it that way or not. I choose to ask myself what I can learn from every encounter.
  • I choose to let my curls be crazy sometimes and not really care.I choose to see make up as an addition to beauty and show my son a woman’s natural beauty.
  • I choose to accept the responsibility of being a mother and understanding that sometimes it means putting myself, my well-being, and mental wellness first.
  • I choose to be my best everyday and I choose to understand that my best each day can look different.

That being said, hello 32!

XO,

GV

Simplicity Parenting-Pt. 2

img_9863Okay so welcome back to Simplicity Parenting book review part 2! I split it up into parts because, well it’s easier to digest that way since the first part had so much information. To be honest with you, I became very overwhelmed when I read this book the first time. Yep, this was my second go with it because I quit 1/3rd of the way in. It literally makes you face a lot of what your home consists of and it shows you what adjustments that may or may not need to be made for the betterment of the child or children in the home.

Take aways here:

  • Food
  • Sleep

This second part we are currently working on in our home meaning these pieces are challenges for us especially food. I lose my mind trying to get Noah to eat. All he wants are bagels, quesadillas, and yogurt. Don’t get me wrong he loves fruit. Strawberries, grapes, etc. But he will not try anything new so the food fights-not the throwing of food, but the bribery to get him to try something new all of that is going out the window. Makes meal time a headache-can I get an amen? Concepts here are again simplifying food.

Simplifying Food:

  • Limit food choices: give them just a few whole foods at a time. Whole foods meaning un-processed foods. For Noah we try to keep everything plant based with the exception of yogurt and whole cheese. Everyone’s family diets are different so go with limiting choices.
  • Just as we tossed “loud and noisy” toys, do so with food. Ask yourself if the food is designed to nourish or entertain.

So how do you go about simplifying food? I needs steps so I made a list of steps we are taking starting this week.

  1. Wean them of processed snacks with little to no nutritional value. This I’ve read can take about a month or less to detox the palette.
  2. Introduce a new food weekly. No more than once
  3. Be Consistent. Hardest part especially if you aren’t home most of the day so here meal prep will be key. I have yet to meal prep. I know… I’m working on it.

Simplifying Sleep

    Quiet time begins for baby hops in bed. We try to keep blue light activity at a minimum. Crazy bright lights are off while we brush teeth and wash up.
      • Story time- something that can nourish his dreams. No action stories that invoke strong emotion. Right now, he’s into the

Mr. Panda series

      • . There’s 4, Please Mr. Panda (linked above),

Thank You, Mr. Panda

      • ,

Goodnight, Mr. Panda

      • ,  and

I’ll Wait, Mr. Panda

    • . He’s OBSESSED. One of his Uncles and Aunts get each version a year for his birthday.
    We do have prayer while a Himalayan salt lamp is on. So we’ve turned out all head lights or standing lights. Once prayer is done-lights go out. One of us always lays with him until he’s fully asleep.

The book did elaborate on where the child sleeps but we currently have Noah in our room. We’re advocates of attachment parenting. This is what works for us. We have loved implementing the warm lighting. Before it would just go from light to dark and kind of just expect him to shut off with the lights, but kids are humans too! I feel like we forget. If it takes us a while to “unwind” in the evening and we have routines that get us ready to relax, we should only expect our littles to be the same.

I hope this helps and I hope this encourages you to buy the book so that you can take some pieces away that suit your family. Please reach out for questions or further suggestions!

XO,

GV