Just A Thought or A Million

Women think a lot. About everything. All the time. We think while we talk. We think while we’re quiet. While we’re getting ready for the day we’re thinking about work or whatever and while we’re at working we’re thinking about dinner and what’s happening with the family. While we’re getting ready for bed we’re thinking about tomorrow and the list goes on. Sometimes, the thinking alone makes me tired more so than the doing. Managing thoughts is like herding cats. Damn near impossible. I feel like most women, especially mamas are just web browsers with a kazillion tabs open. And sometimes it’s humorous and sometimes quite impressive, but sometimes it’s neither and can feel quite isolating.

We tend to overwhelm ourselves with the thoughts of it all that it just becomes so difficult to manage that we become tired and exhausted and irritable, when really we have to learn to organize it and turn it off. Yea easier said than done, but there are ways to give that highly functioning gray matter some rest. Self care for the brain. Brain care. Too far? Ok ok. But I’m preaching to the choir here. I’m the reigning queen of thinking, overthinking, and everything in between. So I have an extremely hard time even keeping a planner let alone a to do list.


Here goes my tips for management:

  1. Go outside. Alone. Breathe in slowly and just chill for 10 minutes. If you don’t have 10 minutes, you have a bigger problem!
  2. Journal. However this looks keep a planner, bullet journal, whatever. Writing thoughts is high therapeutic and many therapists recommend this for people struggling with anxiety.
  3. Drive with the music off. I know this one is weird. But sometimes as a mom, driving to and from work is the only quiet time I get these days.
  4. Pray and meditate for guidance throughout the day. This can look very different for everyone, but for me my prayer is very conversational and my meditation and just repeating something i need. Strength, serenity etc.
  5. Ask for help. Ask for time. Ask for what you need. Say what you need. Don’t expect your man to be a mind reader and then get mad that he didn’t just know you needed whatever it was you needed. Speak up! Being the gardener is hard work… it might be time to be the flower.

I honestly hope this helps and I hope this lets you know that if you’re one of those that can’t seem to just pull it together sometimes, you’re not alone.

Gi

Chapter 32

It’s kind of crazy turning 32. I distinctly remember feeling that this particular age was so far away so I basically felt like I blinked and here I am: grad school graduate, married 5 years, and baby boy that’s cuter than I could’ve ever asked….and turning 32. When I thought about my 30’s I always imagined, I’d have it all together. That there was this grand plan that plateaued at 30 and that was the epitome of being a grown up. Boy was I wrong! And I’m so glad I was wrong.

I am still growing, but I will say since I did enter my 30’s, I’ve learned the art of self-reflection. This is a difficult piece of maturity that can be chilling when we search within to find out who we really are and sometimes we come face to face with the fact that we need to change. I never thought I’d be in my 30’s and be a completely different person and in many ways I’m still that 22 year old girl who can get wild when the mood strikes. But those raw parts of me, the parts that never allowed vulnerability, seeing it as a weakness, yet self-criticism was a ritual for me, I not too long ago was faced with challenges that forced me to look at who I truly was and really just started asking myself, “Giana, is this who you want to be?” The answer was no for the most part, so I changed my habits, my thoughts and perspectives. I realized the power of choice and my GOD was that freeing. We all know we have the choice to do or be or say things we want, but have we really ever taken advantage of those choices and actually made them? So what choices have I made ushering me into the 32nd chapter.

  • I have made the choice of happiness. I am choosing to be happy, regardless of circumstance and situation.
  • I am choosing my husband-everyday. Because that’s what marriage is. The choice to love that person every damn day until you die. And I happily make that choice. (We’re renewing our vows soon btw! Stay tuned.)
  • I choose freedom in faith. My unwavering faith in God knowing He’s got me. No questions asked.
  • I choose to create time, instead of complaining that I don’t have it.
  • I choose to be present. Making eye contact when my son calls my name, leaving my phone in the other room while I play with him or put him to sleep.
  • I choose to pour myself into every facet of life where my passion leads.
  • I choose to share. I choose to share my experiences, lessons I’ve learned, the times I’ve fallen. Because mistakes are what make us great. And hiding those mistakes in shame does no one any good.
  • I choose to learn. I choose to accept that I don’t know everything and that every moment is an opportunity to grow.
  • I choose to be brave-standing firm in who I am, drawing boundaries, and demanding self-respect. From strangers, friends, and family. It’s important to see that there are limits to what we accept into our spaces.
  • I choose to see each road block as a redirection to something better instead of using my energy to move it.
  • I choose to see every person I meet and everyone in my life as a teacher with a lesson. Whether they see it that way or not. I choose to ask myself what I can learn from every encounter.
  • I choose to let my curls be crazy sometimes and not really care.I choose to see make up as an addition to beauty and show my son a woman’s natural beauty.
  • I choose to accept the responsibility of being a mother and understanding that sometimes it means putting myself, my well-being, and mental wellness first.
  • I choose to be my best everyday and I choose to understand that my best each day can look different.

That being said, hello 32!

XO,

GV

Meet Your Veggie Meat

A couple weeks I posted a question on IG stories-well a vote really asking what people thought was healthier-veggie meat or free-range organic meat. The results reflected that a majority believe free-range meat to be a healthier choice more so than the processed veggie meat, but there were quiet a number voting that it’s opposite lead the pack. But I’ll be honest, I was raised on meat, just chicken and turkey, and made a choice to go vegetarian at 25. There were a few periods of wings and tacos sprinkled in there, but for the most part I said adios to meat. Reasons ranged from health to mercy for animals.

Whatever the reason, choosing a meat substitute, many meat-free people believe they are choosing the healthier option much like I did when I went vegetarian, but even then those savory veggie meats some of us grew up with are processed and contain some pretty questionable materials. I took it upon my self to flip over the bags of some common veggie meat brands and noted what I found. Some surprisingly disappointing and some pleasantly surprised. So what to look for if you’re going meat free?

  • Textured Veggie Protein or Soy Isolates. Secret word? Hexane-a toxic byproduct of gasoline basically that is literally approved by the FDA to give veggie meat that meaty protein. Uh no thanks.
  • GMO Soy. If you aren’t aware by now of what Genetically Modified anything does to your body go read Shape Magazine’s article on possible risks with GMO.
  • Pretty much anything you can’t pronounce would be a good sign to avoid intake. I mean just a suggestion.

Guys, just take the time to flip over the package. Meat isn’t abysmal, yet what it does to your body whether free-range or not is DEFINITELY for another post entirely and that’s not to run down the ethical challenges with “organic” or “free-range” meat as highlighted here by PETA. Read up on the meat industry. Be educated on what goes in your body whether it’s meatless or not.

So anyway, what’s a good sub? My two favs are Beyond Meat  and Amy’s Organics. For more things to look out for on the veggie meat front, you can also check out Food Babe’s post for more keywords to look for in your next purchase. Hope this helps answer the questions from last week!

XO,

GV

Open Letter to You Pt. 2: From Daddy

As a kid you always think to the future and imagine what kind of life your going to have. You envision a life full of dreams, love, and happiness. I grew up holding onto those and  when I found out I was going to be blessed with you as my son, it was the happiest day of my life.

Over the past 3 years I’ve had the blessing of seeing you take your first steps, speaking your first words, and smiling at the world each day. Your full of life, fun and joy. I never get tired of waking up each day to your instant demands or watching you sleep with the peaceful dreams you embrace at night. Your energy and unimaginable love for me as your dad pushes me to be the best I can be.

Your surrounded by people who love and adore you. No one in this world will match my love for you my son. I could never imagine myself with another child, because I would never want to share my love for you with another. You have been the biggest blessing ive ever received and can’t imagine my life without you. These past 3 years have gone by so fast and I’ve seen you grow so much and I wish that I could stop time for a moment because I know I will never get this time back. I will be here every step of your life and will support you in all paths of life.

Your my best friend and the pride and joy of my life. I’m proud to call you my son and to hold you everyday. Your mother and I will never get over the fact of how blessed we are with you. Whatever her and I do in this world will only be to make it a better place for you and because we love you.
XO,
Daddy

Aspirations of a Chronic Snoozer

In the beginning of the year, I gave myself a word for the year: discipline. The purpose was to encompass all things that required discipline to help me stay on track in my facets of life. I gave up resolutions, because they just didn’t work for me. After February, they tend to drift away along with sanity. My word of the year is reflective. It evokes for me a sense of accountability and personal responsibility.

Discipline included lifestyle choices, dietary inclusions and exclusions, and hobby to business goals to name a few, but one very tall giant i wanted to conquer was waking up early. Now this is tricky because we are already woken up rather early with our human alarm clock otherwise known as Noah. B.C., (Before Child) I would sleep until the very last second and rush to get ready and would still be on time for work. Alone time wasn’t a scarcity and a small person was asking for a bagel at 630am. Therefore, waking up last minute had no real affect because I wasn’t missing out. Fast forward to motherhood and working full time at that, mornings are gone. If I wake up 1 hour before i have to leave as in the olden days, I spend 15 minutes making coffee, 20 doing make-up and getting dressed, and a few left over for hanging out with my kid that I won’t see unit bed time. Hence the waking up early. Now back to discipline.

I have yet to exhibit any type of discipline with waking up early-except today. 45 minutes before anyone was making a peep, a sound, or asking questions I was up and ready. That quiet time to look at the calendar, enjoy hot coffee that stayed hot, and be alone is what started the day off. The productivity manifested in those quiet moments was completely and pleasantly unexpected. So my take away? Try it. Slowly. Start with 15 minutes earlier, then 20, then 25…see how it goes because us mamas need as much time to recollect as we can get and there’s not one reason we should feel guilt for it. Where do you carve in time for yourself?

XO, Gi

Take Away Time and Why You Need One

We are currently in a state of seasonal bliss. (exhibit A: Us in a standard prom pose)

I define seasonal bliss as moments and time periods in life where you just feel at ease and everything has aligned. I rarely like to get super comfortable in this type of season, but I do by all means enjoy the peacefulness. Post graduation offers us some solitude in the fact that we can expect no major schedule changes, baby is with daddy during the day and at night Josh studies for the boards. I go to work and come back home and our weekends are for recharging and adventure. So here we are. We can expect things to change slightly once he’s on-boarded with his new job and new schedule and then we will need to revamp the setting again. But what can we learn from the last couple of years where we’ve had to adjust to one income, learn to parent, and still stay happily married? I always like to look at take aways whenever the dust settles and seasonal bliss is the perfect time to do so. They help gain perspective and they’re actively setting yourself up for success the next time chaos ensues.

 



♦♦A few aways from the last 2 years♦♦

1. Expect everything and nothing at all. We expected things to be structured and pretty much laid out and they most certainly were not. It was crazy how caught off guard we were and then just forget it when I started working again I think that’s when our whole world just did a 180. So that being said learning to just expect things to happen along with slight inconveniences. The element of surprise won’t be as strong and you’ll be more apt to respond instead of react.

2. Make peace with the process. This happened later on in the game because literally every 10 weeks when Josh’s schedule for class or rotations changed it honestly enraged me. Illogically of course I realize that now! But I really had to force myself to just accept this is what we chose when we agreed for him to go back to school so that was it. Either I could be psycho and complain or just shut up and figure out the next move. I’m actually annoyed at myself thinking back about what I complained about.

3. The tribe is everything. We really wouldn’t have been able to make this work without some very important and key people. From picking up Noah from daycare to watching him and feeding him just most of it surrounding the care of our baby they helped so immensely. And then there’s the ones that were there for us for meltdowns and disappointments not to mention tears and desperate calls. We all need a tribe that only works to support each other without judgement. The eminence of these few is immeasurable.

4. Be a team!! Oh my goodness the most obvious yet difficult component in all of this! Instead of fighting together we often fought against the other. Of course this came from stressors from work/school and frustration and the overall climate of life at the time, but it is counter productive if not done properly. Always remember you and your partner are here for the same thing working towards the same goal. Never forget that. Be attentive. Be mindful. Be supportive.

7 Years a Crazy Woman

7 years graffic

Through the last couple of years, we have been through moves, marriage, more moves, a baby, job changes, and more moves. Did I mention moving? I can’t tell you enough how much transition our little family has gone through since the early years of it’s creation.

Why does this matter? Because I personally know so many of you, and those I know no so personally experience transition and change and bumps and sometimes chaos. It can be hard feeling like you can’t keep up with Jones’s, let alone yourself. Our timeline? Let me share so that you know that I understand how you feel!

2011: Moved back from AZ to CA.

2012: Got engaged -Josh moved to CA and then back to MD to accept a new fantastic job.

2013: Got married in October. I quit my job of 2 years and moved to MD 2 months later. Moved into a condo. Our favorite place we’ve ever lived in! Our first home together.

2014: Started working a new full time job and then we had a moment of peace and quiet. UNTIL! I got pregnant with Noah.

2015: Gained 80 lbs and gave birth to a 9.6 ounce baby boy that Summer. I quit my job 1 week before I was set to return to work. Also, we reevaluated and really decided that it was best I stay home with the baby. This particular time was tough because Josh was working 60 hour work weeks and was gone a lot. We reevaluated AGAIN and came to the conclusion he should continue nursing school for better schedule and $$ so that I could work part-time. We prayed and prayed and we were led to Loma Linda University School of Nursing where Josh was immediately accepted all credits transferred. To us prayer and positive thinking believing people, this was the sign we needed. But wait. LLU was in CA. We were in MD. Moved again. Cross country. The two of us and baby in tow. Shipped two cars and moved in with my mother for 3 months.

2016: Moved to an apartment closer to campus because Josh was doing a 3 hour round trip drive every day at 5 am. By this time, Noah was 9 months old when I was being recruited by my old job (see 2013). We decided at least one of us needed to work so back to work I went. Full Time. Worst nightmare literally until recently. Why? I’ll tell you later. Oh yea, we moved again into the house we currently live in now! Haven’t moved in 2 years which I consider a deep win!

2017: Worst. Summer. Ever. Transition sucks. Mom guilt. Nursing student. Husband and wife=ships passing in the night. Growing toddler. We struggled like for real for real. Almost fully separated. It was awful. There is clearly more to this but I’m setting this up. Bear with me.

2018: Present. Peace finally. Love restored. Josh graduates in 1 week. We will be looking for a place and things have finally settled.

Why is this necessary? Because I want to share that no matter what, no matter how many transitions you go through there is a light at the end of the tunnel! It might be dim, but it still shines. So how do you deal with change and transition without completely losing your mind? Stay tuned!

XO,

Gi